


Plastic

by SurveyCorpses



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Oneshot?, Sexshop, dildo, eren being a sarcastic little shit, short angry men, worker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 03:04:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2797244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SurveyCorpses/pseuds/SurveyCorpses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's working at a sex shop, a boring day filled with boring horny customers. When a certain man comes to the counter, he can hardly hold in his laughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plastic

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I'm writing this. Okay. So this was kind of a oneshot. If people are looking at it, over 200 maybe, then I might add more. Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> Eren being a sarcastic little shit is my reason for living.
> 
> Also, take note at my very amazing titles.. Don't remind me, I know they suck. (No pun intended) I'm not creative in any way.

I ran the fingers through my damp hair and sighed. My shift only just started, and I was already bored and in a bad mood. All I ever got was asking _which vibrator was best for them_ , or the _risks of BDSM_ or whatever. Did it look like I knew? Damn, you know your kinks, not me. 

I drummed my fingers on the counter and eyed the people inside. Sure, I've bought a few things here before. But some of these customers came regularly. Some people had more exciting lives than mine, I guess.

Even if I got something from the store, I'd wait until everyone was gone, or if it wasn't very busy. Some people just had no shame, or they showed it off. Like,  _Look at me, I have a sex life._ Yeah, with my right hand. 

Hey, at least this job had its perks. There are a lot of horny people out there, including myself, that add to my paycheck. I mean, a lot. And aside from the pay, who wouldn't want to be surrounded by porn? I'll take a show of hands. That's right, nobody.

Anyway, the shop was pretty quiet. Just me, some walking money, and aisles filled with dildos. Which, in my opinion, is quite a sweet deal. The door opened with a ring, and a man walked in. I watched him closely as he gave a death glare to anyone who got remotely close to him. He looked intimidating, and the only thing that kept him from being terrifying was his height. I smiled as I watched him disappear behind the aisles. 

I had to admit, he looked pretty, well... Pretty. His face was very defined, he was lean, the way he walked was intriguing. I smirked, my mind running wild. I should be focusing on work... But this was in the same category, right? I bit my lip and reached for my water bottle and drank. I closed my eyes.

I heard a smack on the counter. I opened my eyes and looked down. 

I gagged on the water, coughing hard. 

The short, pretty man was at the counter, with most likely the biggest dildo we had in the store.

_Eren, for God's sake do not laugh. He could kill you. He's glaring. Do. Not-_

I snorted. Quite attractively, I might add. His eyes narrowed, and he spoke with an angelic tone.

"Is something funny, fuckface?" He was glaring into my eyes, and my hair stood on end. I swallowed hard.

"N-no, it's just.." I turned the other way with another snort. I sniffled and turned around, putting on my best straight face. "Nothing's funny. Nothing at-" I bit my lip, eyes watering.

"I'd love to hear it, princess." He crossed his arms.

"Well, if you must know," I cleared my throat dramatically. "I believe this plastic genitalia is a bit-"

He was not amused by my humor. 

"Look, man. Are you sure that's gonna fit?" I chuckled. Damn, this was priceless.

"You'd like to know, wouldn't you." He rolled his eyes.

"Well, yeah. You'd be impaled. Like a shish kebab." I made an 'o' shape with my fingers, and another finger going in, but acting like it got stuck. I giggled, and he still didn't change from his straight, I'm-going-to-kill-you face.

"You gonna let my buy my own sex toys, darling? Or do I need your approval?" 

"Psh, fine then. After all, it's your funeral." I scanned it and sighed. "Will that be all? There's some lube. You might need that." I smirked.

"I wouldn't be a smart ass. I saw you checking me out." He grabbed the bag. 

"Sorry to burst your bubble. You don't quite fit my standards." I crossed my arms.

"Ooh, right. You only go for watching other people, alone, fucking yourself. Right?"

"N-no! I-" 

Shit. I was blushing. And my pants were tightening. Fuck. No.

"Hmmph. Thought so." He sighed. "When do you get out of work." He said simply.

"What? Hold on.. What." I stared. He shrugged.

"You think you're so smooth. You wouldn't be so quick to talk when I.." He trailed off, making me shift my position slightly. He had to be messing with me. 

"...Five." I bit my lip and shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.

"Great, I'll come and get you." He laughed and left, bag with his new toy in hand.

I was aware that he could very well have been joking, messing with my horny mind. But what the hell. I was tired of fucking myself on dildos. Either he'd come and get me, or he wouldn't. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So... If you liked it, let me know. It might motivate me to continue, even though this was supposed to be the end!


End file.
